Miracle and Other Christmas Stories Read online

  Lavish Praise for the Books of Connie Willis

  Miracle

  and Other Christmas Stories

  “A muscular imagination, with drolleries and epiphanies galore. Put this at the top of your Must Buy holiday shopping list.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  “Will entertain readers both in and out of season; and as a stocking stuffer for SF fans, it’s a merry delight.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Willis does indeed walk what she describes as ‘anarrow tightrope between sentiment and skepticism’ in these tales … a nice antidote to the saccharine side of the season.”

  —Locus

  “Willis … brings humor and a warm sensibility to these cleverly plotted Christmas stories…. This collection—by turns touching and amusing—makes an ideal refuge from the frenzy of the season.”

  —The Tampa Tribune and Times

  “A refreshing change from the maudlin, over-hyped holiday books that are usually pushed on readers … the perfect gift for the cynical and the sappy.”

  —San Antonio Express-News

  “Highly entertaining reading that never sinks to maudlin depths. Willis is a world-class writer, and she brings all her gifts as such to bear in this witty and warmhearted collection.”

  —St. Petersburg Times

  “All of the stories combine the magic and fantasy that make Christmas the author’s favorite day.”

  —Rocky Mountain News

  “A welcome breath of fresh yuletide air. Packed with tales poking fun at tradition, this collection remains respectful of the season.”

  —The Dallas Morning News

  “Enchanting … told with plenty of humor, the tales in the book reconnect the readers with the true meaning of Christmas…. Willis’ trademark wit and keen observations shine through. Each story is a reminder of what makes Christmas so special.”

  —Abilene Reporter-News

  “All the zany action and witty dialogue are delivered in Willis’ favorite style, a mix of screwball and romantic comedies that’s sheer unadulterated fun…. Mix in a bit of Willis’ ready wit and enthusiasm for the season and the result is just about everything you’d want for the holidays: a must-have collection for your collection.

  —The Davis Enterprise/Winters Express

  “Terrific … Ideal for private reading or sharing with an audience. These are stories that will add laughter and warmth to a season whose energy is often drained by bouts of rushed shopping and rushed obligations…. The stories’ charm is the trademark Willis refusal to fall into sugar-sweet sentiment…. Well worth reading.”

  —Off the Shelf

  “Not your average Christmas storybook … A combination of Twilight Zone and A Christmas Carol with Miracle on 34th Street thrown in for good measure … SF fans will be delighted to find this book in their stockings.”

  —News & Record

  “Connie Willis hits gold with this collection of Christmas tales. She immediately grabs the reader’s attention and never lets go, even at the end. Each story has its own significance and moral lesson that touches the reader. A must-have this holiday season. These tales enchant and enlighten as they add spice to the wonder of Christmas. They remind us what Christmas is all about.”

  —The Roanoke Times

  “If you need a little help getting into the Christmas spirit, this small book may be the answer. Willis … tells some stories with messages that are familiar, yet treatment that is fresh and new.”

  —The Brazosport Facts

  “Willis does a really nice job melding holiday traditions with little supernatural twists.”

  —The Knoxville News-Sentinel

  “Connie Willis, curmudgeon, book addict, and philosopher, writes with a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.”

  —Salon.com

  To say nothing of the dog

  “Willis effortlessly juggles comedy of manners, chaos theory and a wide range of literary allusions [with a] near flawlessness of plot, character and prose.”

  —Publishers Weekly (starred review)

  “I have long thought that Jerome K. Jerome’s three men in a boat is one of the highest points of inimitable British humor. I chuckle; I gurgle; I know those three men—to say nothing of the dog. And now I am convinced there was a woman concealed in that boat, too: Connie Willis.”

  —Laurie R. King

  “Swiftly paced and full of laughter, Willis’ comedy of manners (and errors) is the most hilarious book of its kind since John Irving’s The Water-Method Man and A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole…. Willis’ sure-hand plotting, unforgettable characters, and top-notch writing should garner quite a few award nominations.”

  —Des Moines Sunday Register

  “An utter delight. Ms. Willis’ unique, engaging voice will carry you off to a place where chaos theory makes perfect sense, time travel is a reasonable mode of transport, and safeguarding the fate of humanity is a respectable day job.”

  —Amanda Quick

  “Few writers can match Willis’ blend of comedy and science fiction. To Say Nothing of the Dog finds her in top form.”

  —San Francisco Sunday Examiner & Chronicle

  “Almost certain to appear on top 10 lists throughout the galaxy.”

  —The Toronto Star

  “What a stitch! Willis’ delectable romp … will have readers happily glued to the pages.”

  —Booklist (starred review)

  “Connie Willis is the most relentlessly delightful science fiction writer alive…. [To Say Nothing of the Dog] establishes Willis not only as SF’s premiere living humorist, but possibly as the genre’s premiere humorist ever.”

  —Locus

  “What great fun! This cleverly written, marvelously peopled, intricately plotted gem of a book is simultaneously a time-travel, futuristic, historic, mystery-comedy love story that is superbly executed with style and flair. Ms. Willis’ imaginatively complex concept is a charming, nonstop delight from start to finish. To Say Nothing of the Dog is a rare treat. Indulge yourself!”

  —Rendezvous

  “[Connie Willis] has outdone herself in To Say Nothing of the Dog. … This is a book the reader won’t want to put down, but also won’t want to finish…. Enchanting.”

  —The Sunday Advocate, Baton Rouge

  “Gleeful fun with a serious edge.”

  —Kirkus Reviews

  Doomsday Book

  Winner of the Hugo and Nebula Awards “A tour de force.”

  —The New York Times Book Review

  “Splendid work—brutal, gripping, and genuinely harrowing, the product of diligent research, fine writing, and well-honed instincts, that should appeal far beyond the usual science-fiction constituency.”

  —Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

  “The world of 1348 burns in the mind’s eye…. It becomes possible to feel … that Connie Willis did, over the five years Doomsday Book took her to write, open a window to another world, and that she saw something there.”

  —The Washington Post Book World

  Lincoln’s Dreams

  “A love story on more than one level, and Ms. Willis does justice to them all. It was only toward the end of the book that I realized how much tension had been generated, how engrossed I was in the characters, how much I cared about their fates.”

  —The New York Times Book Review

  “A tantalizing mix of history and scientific speculation … Willis tells this tale with clarity and assurance…. Impeccable.”

  —San Francisco Chronicle

  “Fulfills all the expectations of those who have admired her award-winning short fiction.”

  —Los Angeles Time
s

  “Lincoln’s Dreams is a novel of classical proportions and virtues…. Humane and moving.”

  —The Washington Post Book World

  “Lincoln’s Dreams is not so much written as sculpted…. [A] tale of love and war as moving as a distant roll of drums … No one has reproduced the past that haunts the present any better than Connie Willis.”

  —The Christian Science Monitor

  Bellwether

  “A sheer pleasure to read … Sprightly, intelligent FUN.”

  —Publishers Weekly

  “Connie Willis’ fiction is one of the most intelligent delights of our genre.”

  —Locus

  Remake

  “Another brilliant work by an author deserving of all the praise and awards heaped on her.”

  —Des Moines Sunday Register

  Fire watch

  “[Willis’] writing is fresh, subtle, and deeply moving.”

  —The New York Times Book Review

  Also by Connie Willis

  FIRE WATCH

  LINCOLN’S DREAMS

  DOOMSDAY BOOK

  IMPOSSIBLE THINGS

  UNCHARTED TERRITORY

  REMAKE

  BELLWETHER

  TO SAY NOTHING OF THE DOG

  PASSAGE

  TO CHARLES DICKENS AND GEORGE SEATON,

  who knew how to keep Christmas

  CONTENTS

  Introduccion

  Miracle

  Inn

  In Coppelius’s Toyshop

  The Pony

  Adaptation

  Cat’s Paw

  Newsletter

  Epiphany

  A final word

  Twelve Terrific Things to Read…

  And Twelve to Watch

  INTRODUCTION

  I love Christmas. All of it—decorating the tree and singing in the choir and baking cookies and wrapping presents. I even like the parts most people hate—shopping in crowded malls and reading Christmas newsletters and seeing relatives and standing in baggage check-in lines at the airport.

  Okay, I lied. Nobody likes standing in baggage check-in lines. I love seeing people get off the plane, though, and holly and candles and eggnog and carols.

  But most of all, I love Christmas stories and movies. Okay, I lied again. I don’t love all Christmas stories and movies. It’s a Wonderful Life, for instance. And Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Fir Tree.”

  But I love Miracle on 34th Street and Christopher Morley’s “The Christmas Tree That Didn’t Get Trimmed” and Christina Rosetti’s poem “Midwinter.” My family watches The Sure Thing and A Christmas Story each year, and we read George V. Higgins’s “The Snowsuit of Christmas Past” out loud every Christmas Eve, and eagerly look for new classics to add to our traditions.

  There aren’t a lot. This is because Christmas stories are much harder to write than they look, partly because the subject matter is fairly limited, and people have been writing them for nearly two thousand years, so they’ve just about rung all the changes possible on snowmen, Santas, and shepherds.

  Stories have been told from the point of view of the fourth wise man (who got waylaid on the way to Bethlehem), the innkeeper, the innkeeper’s wife, the donkey, and the star. There’ve been stories about department-store Santas, phony Santas, burned-out Santas, substitute Santas, reluctant Santas, and dieting Santas, to say nothing of Santa’s wife, his elves, his reindeer, and Rudolph. We’ve had births at Christmas (natch!), deaths, partings, meetings, mayhem, attempted suicides, and sanity hearings. And Christmas in Hawaii, in China, in the past, the future, and outer space. We’ve heard from the littlest shepherd, the littlest wise man, the littlest angel, and the mouse who wasn’t stirring. There’s not a lot out there that hasn’t already been done.

  In addition, the Christmas-story writer has to walk a narrow tightrope between sentiment and skepticism, and most writers end up falling off into either cynicism or mawkish sappiness.

  And, yes, I am talking about Hans Christian Andersen. He invented the whole three-hanky sob story, whose plot Maxim Gorki, in a fit of pique, described as taking a poor girl or boy and letting them “freeze somewhere under a window, behind which there is usually a Christmas tree that throws its radiant splendor upon them.” Match girls, steadfast tin soldiers, even snowmen (melted, not frozen) all met with a fate they (and we) didn’t deserve, especially at Christmas.

  Nobody, before Andersen came along, had thought of writing such depressing Christmas stories. Even Dickens, who had killed a fair number of children in his books, didn’t kill Tiny Tim. But Andersen, apparently hell-bent on ruining everybody’s holidays, froze innocent children, melted loyal toys into lumps of lead, and chopped harmless fir trees who were just standing there in the forest, minding their own business, into kindling.

  Worse, he inspired dozens of imitators, who killed off saintly children (some of whom, I’ll admit, were pretty insufferable and deserved to die) and poor people for the rest of the Victorian era.

  In the twentieth century, the Andersen-style tearjerker moved into the movies, which starred Margaret O’Brien (who definitely deserved to die) and other child stars, chosen for their pallor and their ability to cough. They had titles like All Mine to Give and The Christmas Tree, which tricked hapless moviegoers into thinking they were going to see a cheery Christmas movie, when really they were about little boys who succumbed to radiation poisoning on Christmas Eve.

  When television came along, this type of story turned into the “Very Special Christmas Episode” of various TV shows, the worst of which was Little House on the Prairie, which killed off huge numbers of children in blizzards and other pioneer-type disasters every Christmas for years. Hadn’t any of these authors ever heard that Christmas stories are supposed to have happy endings?

  Well, unfortunately, they had, and it resulted in improbably sentimental and saccharine stories too numerous to mention.

  So are there any good Christmas stories out there? You bet, starting with the original. The recounting of the first Christmas (you know, the baby in the manger) has all the elements of great storytelling: drama, danger, special effects, dreams and warnings, betrayals, narrow escapes, and—combined with the Easter story—the happiest ending of all.

  And it’s got great characters—Joseph, who’s in over his head but doing the best he can; the wise men, expecting a palace and getting a stable; slimy Herod, telling them, “When you find this king, tell me where he is so I can come and worship him,” and then sending out his thugs to try to murder the baby; the ambivalent innkeeper. And Mary, fourteen years old, pondering all of the above in her heart. It’s a great story—no wonder it’s lasted two thousand years.

  Modern Christmas stories I love (for a more complete list, see the end of this book) include O. Henry’s “The Gift of the Magi,” T. S. Eliot’s “Journey of the Magi,” and Barbara Robinson’s The Best Christmas Pageant Ever, about a church Nativity pageant overrun by a gang of hooligans called the Herdmans. The Herdmans bully everybody and smoke and cuss and come only because they’d heard there were refreshments afterward. And they transform what was a sedate and boring Christmas pageant into something extraordinary.

  Since I’m a science-fiction writer, I’m of course partial to science-fiction Christmas stories. Science fiction has always had the ability to make us look at the world from a different angle, and Christmas is no exception. Science fiction has looked at the first Christmas from a new perspective (Michael Moorcock’s classic “Behold the Man”) and in a new guise (Joe L. Hensley and Alexei Panshin’s “Dark Conception”).

  It’s shown us Christmas in the future (Cynthia Felice’s “Track of a Legend”) and Christmas in space (Ray Bradbury’s wonderful “The Gift”). And it’s looked at Christmas itself (Mildred Clingerman’s disturbing “The Wild Wood”).

  My favorite science-fiction Christmas stories are Arthur C. Clarke’s “The Star,” which tells the story of the Christmas star that guided the wise men to Bethlehem, and Th
omas Disch’s hilarious story “The Santa Claus Compromise,” in which two intrepid six-year-old investigative reporters expose the shocking scandal behind Santa Claus.

  I also love mysteries. You’d think murder and Christmas wouldn’t mesh, but the setting and the possibility of mistletoe/ plum pudding/Santa Claus—connected murders has inspired any number of mystery writers, starting with Arthur Conan Doyle and his “The Adventure of the Blue Carbuncle,” which involves a Christmas goose. Some of my favorite mysteries are Dorothy Sayers’s “The Necklace of Pearls,” Agatha Christie’s Murder for Christmas, and Jane Langton’s The Shortest Day: Murder at the Revels. My absolute favorite is John Mortimer’s comic “Rumpole and the Spirit of Christmas,” which stars the grumpy old Scrooge of a barrister, Horace Rumpole, and his wonderful wife, She Who Must Be Obeyed.

  Comedies are probably my favorite kind of Christmas story. I love Damon Runyon’s “Dancing Dan’s Christmas.” (Actually, I love everything Damon Runyon ever wrote, and if you’ve never read him, you need to go get Guys and Dolls immediately. Ditto P. G. Wodehouse, whose “Jeeves and the Christmas Spirit” and “Another Christmas Carol,” are vintage Wodehouse, which means they’re indescribable. If you’ve never read Wodehouse either, what a treat you’re in for! He wrote over a hundred books. Start anywhere.) Both Runyon and Wodehouse balance sentiment and cynicism, irony, and the Christmas spirit, human nature and happy endings, without a single misstep.

  And then there’s Christopher Morley’s “The Christmas Tree That Didn’t Get Trimmed,” which was clearly written in reaction to Hans Christian Andersen’s “The Fir Tree.” Unlike Andersen, however, Morley understands that the purpose of Christmas is to remind us not only of suffering but of salvation. His story makes you ache, and then despair. And then rejoice.